What’s your dream life?

This week, the subject of the ideal life has come up a few times. And in each conversation, the person I was speaking with shared that they didn’t really know what their ideal life looked like, what their highest potential felt like. And I met them in that uncertainty. It made me question why it’s so hard for many of us to identify our big dream. It feels like it should be the most intuitive thing in the world.

I have a sense this is linked to two things. The first is we’re the first generation that is fortunate enough to ask this question. We didn’t grow up seeing our parents, teachers, family members ask themselves what their ideal life looked like and how to pursue it. We mostly saw and heard them complain about their reality. The second is the plethora of choices we have available to us. There’s no limit to what we can become today! And that’s infinitely beautiful, but also, admittedly, confusing. The opportunity cost is so high, when the alternative to our chosen path is literally any other path we can imagine.

Personally, I’m someone who likes change. I enjoy the shift in seasons and tones, whether that’s within a year, within a phase of life, or within a two hour playlist. And so this makes dreaming of the one ideal scenario feel too daunting. My version of a dream life has changed so many times! My lens is always influenced by my current situation. When I was in relationship, my dreams looked a certain way, and now they look very different. So even though I can’t give you my one ideal vision, I can certainly share with you a feeling, invite you into a movie of what that life would look and feel like; and actually, this more abstract view of my ideal tends to stay the same, even amidst the changes in my outer reality. Here are some questions I use to help me visualize or feel into this life:

What does it look like?

What does it feel like?

What are you doing?

Who are you seeing?

How’s your year structured?

What’s a day look like? A week?

How do you feel in your skin? What are you wearing? What does your hair look like? Your makeup?

What routines, if any, do you have in place?

What are you eating? How are you moving your body?

How are you getting creative?

How are you experiencing intimacy?

What are your closest relationships like? Do you have a life or work partner?

Pets?

Do you play an instrument? Speak a language you don’t currently speak?

Are you traveling? To what kinds of places? Where are you staying in those places? What are you experiencing, seeing, eating, learning there? Who are you meeting?

What does work feel like? Is it fulfilling? How do you know?